Camp by Stafford Courthouse, May 11, 1863
Precious Emilie:
I have received your dear
letter of April 28th yesterday, the tenth, and was very pleased that you
are all still well and that you are still able to adjust to your lonely
situation, and I wish most longingly that I could be with you again, but
unfortunately it merely remains wishful thinking, and I believe we will
still have to overcome many hard blows before fate will reunite us again.
Then nothing shall separate me from you (pl.) again but death. My dear
Emilie, lately serious changes have happened in our regiment; morale is
now very depressed on the whole, although in our company it is still the
best. Almost everyone here has lost relatives or friends in the last battle;
almost two hundred of the regiment are gone. However, not all are dead,
perhaps half of them may come back, those who are just wounded or take
prisoner. August Toltzmann though could hardly be alive anymore. The man
ahead of him has seen him fall; right at the start of the first fight he
had received a bullet on the forehead and fallen immediately without moving.
Should he be dead his death was an easy one, but if the bullet had come
a long distance he could possibly be just stunned and then it would not
be a dangerous would. I am very sorry about him, he was always such a cheerful
guy, he had always taken all the hardships well. He had just the moment
before fired his gun against the enemy.
My dear Emilie, war is
a horrible evil which gives me no pleasure, but we are in it and only through
powerful action can we extricate ourselves. This time we have fought a
battle where we were confident of good success, but the carelessness with
which the right wing was set up, without the artillery that belonged there,
just on the place where our regiment stood. And the cleverness of the Southern
leaders who knew how to take advantage of this weak point had pushed us
back. Our regiment held up as well as possible, but the enemy unfolded
enormous superior strength, and for our regiment to remain would have been
madness; it would have surely been wounded or captured. Therefore there
was a wild flight. I will think of the second of May for the rest of my
life, even though I did not take part in the fight, as I had been detailed
to cook earlier. My helper with the cooking returned to the regiment and
remained there. I stayed to receive the meat when it was being distributed.
Unfortunately, this never happened, because, while the animals were being
skinned, we were surprised by the Southerners and had to leave them behind.
We received orders to retreat, and not long after that the regiments had
to follow us. It was a terrible confusion, I almost think that over two
thirds of our people were shot through their clothing, but when the rebles
came close to our cannons they were thrown back and it is said that their
loss of lives is much more significant than ours was. It was a hard fight
but still not a decisive one. Although the victory is ours, it could not
be pursued properly because of the enormously bad weather which set in;
also perhaps they had other reasons, perhaps the enemy could have cut us
off from our provisions. In short, we retreated again across the Rappahannok
and we were quite uneasy, believing that the enemy was bothering us again.
Luckily we made it over here, it seems to me though as if each one was
afraid of the other.
We are now again at our
old place, for how long we do not know of course. I don’t think we will
have peace for very long until after Richmond is taken. The first night
that I spent here at our old place was one of the most unpleasant of my
life: wet to the skin and tired from the fatiguing march, and cold besides;
it was horrible rainy weather, but it has been overcome and I feel fairly
healthy. Quite a few are finding out here how much a human being is able
to bear.
Many officers of our
regiment are left, our company did not lose any, but a few were transferred
from our company, ….Doerflinger is said to have conducted himself very
bravely, his father is a soldier with a different regiment; and Prankte,
who also leaves behind a wife and four children. Our company has been reduced
from seventy to sixty-four. So far we haven’t heard of Bernhard Meyer,
otherwise there is no other acquaintance of ours. The Meyers’ farmhand,
Ewald, has been slightly injured. I am very sorry for a young man called
Juderjahn, he leaves behind a wife and four children. If I were unmarried
I would perhaps care very little about my bit of life; but I cannot stand
the thought of leaving you, my loved ones, without seeing you once more.
I would not even be happy in Heaven, if I could hope for that; but I would
hope to see you (pl.) here again.
My Dear, as I was just
about to end this letter, I had an opportunity to buy a paper of today’s
date. According to it things look significantly better for us than we had
though. Our people’s cavalry has been up to two miles from Richmond and
done enormous damage to the enemy. The Panner and the Seabote will probably
try to describe our situation as very bad, but all in all it is now better
for us than ever before and my hope has new life again, I believe we will
yet emerge from the fight as victors.
My dear Emilie, I want
t give you a small example of how comfortable it is to live during such
marches: after we had marched for two days and almost two nights we had
a little quiet time. I had laid myself down in the open with my comrades,
but…soldiers….., when we awoke we had on our ….so much rainwater had gathered
that we could wash with it, and ….is not practical. My dear Emilie, I had
the misfortune….to break your (pl.) picture; still I carry it around with
me, it would probably be the last thing I would part with, before I could
have a new one of you (pl.). Therefore, you would do me a very large favor
if you would send me another, but possibly smaller one, the kind of tin
which is easier to keep; it is always a good feeling for me when I can
look at you (pl.) here. I have done that even close to the greatest din
of battle
My Dear, we just learned
that several people who were considered dead are listed as still living,
among them Bernard Meyer, but I have not yet heard of August Toltzmann.
Morale has also improved somewhat since yesterday when I started this letter
but was unable to finish it; General Sigel is supposed to have received
command over us again. We feel safer under him than under our current general,
because he has more caution and foresight than the latter and this misfortune
probably would not have happened to us, had he commanded us. We will hope
for the best, perhaps this tiresome war will be ended sooner than it was
though.
My Precious, around the
twenty-eighth of April I sent you a letter with ten dollars in it. I do
hope that you have received it. Always answer me as soon as possible. My
Dear, regarding your inquiry whether I already sent the letter to Germany,
I must report to you that I have not been able to do it yet because I have
had too many iterruptions, but when I do send it I will have the answer
addressed to you.
Now I must close, and
I am very happy, my precious Emilie, that you can manage so well with the
farming business and that you can at least amuse yourself with our dear
children, if you have no other friends. I wish I could be playing with
them again, it would certainly be more pleasant for me than the business
of war.
Farewell, my precious
love unto death. In my thoughts I greet and kiss you and our dear children.
Your
Heinrich Lingsch